Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Schoolhouse

This may come as a surprise to some, but I am not good at dealing with change. :) I know it is inevitable, but the thought of it makes me physically ill. I should also add that the issue of securing child care has always been on the top of my list of "Things Jennifer over-stresses about".
When Brenna was born, I had it in my head that a certain person was going to keep her. I never doubted it, and surprisingly enough never worried about it. After I found out that this person decided she couldn't keep her after all, I was introduced to a whole new level of stress. I was completely against day care. Not that day care is bad, because many of our friends use day care and love it. But I just didn't feel like it was right for us. After a few weeks of stressing (and crying), we found Wayne and Vada. They were an answer to prayer. They were older, friends of Nina's, and only kept 2 other little girls at their house part time (as Brenna would be). They loved our baby like we did, and took care of her in a way that only a grandparent would. (i.e. bacon and eggs for breakfast, chicken fried steak for lunch, and rocking her to sleep every day). I felt like she would spend 3 days a week with them until she started Kindergarten. But when Brenna was 18 months old and Vada broke the news to me that with her mom's deteriorating health she just couldn't do it anymore, I was crushed. I totally understood her situation and reasons, but the selfish part of me was devastated. I wondered how I could ever find another person to take care of my baby the way Vada did. How could I ever find another person that I felt comfortable trusting with my child? I was facing the "C" word again!
Once again, God's plan was better than mine. After 2 days of crying and wondering how someone could ever take the place of Wayne and Vada, I had Nikki's name and number in my hand. I knew how much Amber loved her and what great care she gave Hartleigh (because Amber talked about it all the time!), so I had hope again. After a few phone conversations and visits, I was confident that we had found our new "angel". It was the perfect place for us. Brenna LOVED her Nikki. For the first two years, I stressed that Nikki might choose to not keep kids the next year, but let's face it-I apparently love to stress over things that I have no control over and no reason to stress about! ha! But my fears were unwarranted and Brenna returned each August for 3 years. And for that 3rd year, she returned with her baby sister! :) It felt so good to know that for a year, my girls were together every day. They were able to form a bond that some siblings don't get. Brenna also made a BFF. She and Tia were connected at the hip for 3 years. They were constant companions who started out as babies who played together and became two peas in a pod. They were so much alike, you would have thought (other than their hair and skin colors) that they were sisters!  :)
So when I realized during that third year that Tia would be starting Kindergarten in August, a year ahead of Brenna, I got concerned. OK- so before I got concerned, I MAY have begged Nikki to hold her back a year for my own personal selfish reasons! haha! The last thing in the world I wanted to do was move Brenna somewhere other than Nikki's, but I also knew that things would never be the same for her there with Tia being at school every day. I knew that Brenna would be lost without her BFF. Much to my liking, I knew that it was time to put on my big girl panties and accept the fact that CHANGE was inevitable.
I started asking around about preschools (gotta love Facebook!) and narrowed it down to two- Weatherford Christian and The Schoolhouse. We finally decided on The Schoolhouse because their hours were going to work better for us, and they were open during inservice days. I was also super excited that they were literally right down the street from our house. (Little did I know that we would sell our house and move two months later! ha!)
Brenna's last day at Nikki's was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I did my best to keep from thinking about not dropping her off there anymore. It also helped that I knew we would still see each other often to re-unite these two hams who had grown to love each other like sisters. Above all, I was comforted knowing that Macie would be returning to Nikki in August. But it was still hard. A stage in Brenna's life was ending, and she was growing up. I was sad, scared and excited all at the same time.
When August rolled around, we had Brenna's uniform shirts, shorts, nap mat, lunch box and backpack all ready to go! I took great pride in picking out her nap mat and backpack and making sure they were, in true Southern Mom fashion, monogrammed!
She was super excited to go to "school", and I was thrilled to see the eagerness in her eyes. For the first few weeks, she didn't have to wear uniforms, which was nice for this fashion oriented mom! haha! But she still had to wear tennis shoes, which got old really quick. I am NOT a jeans and tennis shoes type of gal. I am pretty sure Brenna was 3 before I bought her a pair of jeans. (I only wish I was kidding here).
She got up on cloud 9 that first day! She was ready to go, but kept asking questions about if she would have any friends at her school. It broke my heart to think of her feeling all alone in that big classroom, even though I knew her personality well and knew she would have a friend in a matter of seconds!

My two babies-ready to face a whole new school year.
Showing off her backpack and nap mat

At The Schoolhouse, with her lunch box in one hand and her breakfast in the other.

How on earth did she get to be this old??
She was a big ball of energy, and went right in and sat down to eat her breakfast with the other kids. She was happy to be there, and only had a slight hesitation when she walked into the room. I smiled like a proud Mommy, hugged her goodbye, and held back the tears.....until I got to the car. All bets are off when you are alone in the car, right?! I knew she would have a good day, but I also knew that my reassurance of that would be from her at the end of the day instead of from the numerous text messages and pictures I was used to getting of my happy girl throughout the day.
By the end of my work day, I had so many butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't stand it! I was so ready to pick her up and hear all about her day, and as I expected- it was a great one! She told me all about it and was excited for day #2. I felt great relief and a lot of excitement knowing how much this experience was going to help prepare her for Kindergarten.
On the first day of actual classes, she had to start wearing her uniform. As much as I said I would hate uniforms, I have really grown to love them. They are easy, cheap, and she looks pretty darn cute in them!

Showing off her name tag that she had to have for class.

"Hurry up Mom! I might be missing something!!"
So far, Brenna has had a great experience at The Schoolhouse. She has done "programs" and parties that the family has been invited to. Her first one was a Fall Program. I was scared that I couldn't make it up there, so I lined up Daddy, MeMawMom, Memaw, and Nina to take my place. I thought I was ok with missing her first program, and knew that she was going to be in great hands with all of these people she loved, but at the last minute I realized that I was NOT ok with missing it, and started to search high and low until I found someone to cover my class while I went! I was so glad I did. She was adorable singing her songs and looking at all of us who were there for her with such pride.
She went on a field trip to Casa Manana to see Santa Claus the musical. MeMawMom got to be her guest for that one, and I think they both had a blast!

Nina was the chosen guest for her Thanksgiving feast and program. I think they both really liked that! I didn't expect to get any pictures of that one, but Nina surprised me and emailed me pictures that she took with the office camera! Yep- she took pictures AND emailed them! In my 32 years, the only camera I have ever seen her use was a Polaroid!
Performing their Thanksgiving songs

Brenna and Nina

My sweet little Indian.
Aunt Emily was her chosen guest for her Valentines party. I am not sure who was more excited about this- Brenna or Aunt Emily!

WHO KNOWS on this one! Just being Brenna Grace.

My sweet girl saying her prayer.

Game time!

LOVE LOVE that face!!!!

Brenna has learned more at The Schoolhouse than I ever expected. I honestly feel that we made the right decision on this one, and that this experience will be very beneficial to her next year. She has made many new friends that she talks about all the time. (Although none of them will ever take the place of her beloved Tia) She has learned to adapt to a classroom environment and structure. And she has grown and matured in more ways than I can count. this experience has also forced me, as a mommy, to grow. I have had to let go a lot more than I was ready to do, and it has made me a stronger person. I had to realize that her growing up is inevitable. I didn't say I had to LIKE it, I only have to REALIZE it! :) It has helped me to see that she is going to be ok without me knowing and having control of every detail about her day. It has been a great experience, and even though I didn't WANT to make this change, I am glad it worked out so well.