Mother's Day 2015

I want to document Mother's Day 2015, because I want to be able to look back next year and see how far I have come on this journey. And hitting each of these "firsts" without Mom is a milestone to being able to move forward. Not that we are moving ON without her, because that will never happen. But with each milestone we reach we are more confident that we will be able to move forward with our new normal. We are forever changed because she is gone, but our new mission is to figure out this new normal way of life. Mother's day seemed to me to be a biggie. How do you celebrate Mother's day without your Mother?? I didn't know, but I knew it had to be done because I AM a Mother, and my baby girls were so excited about celebrating ME. So, as with everything else I have had to do lately that is hard...one step at a time.
Sunday morning, we all slept in due to the storms that came through Saturday night and kept the girls up on and off throughout the night. Macie woke me up at 9:20....and we needed to leave for church by 10:30! SO-jumped up and got in the shower, which apparently threw a kink in the girls plans to serve me breakfast in bed. So as soon as I got my hair dried, they instructed me that I had to go back to bed! Then they came in with their Daddy and delivered this beautiful tray to me. It was my very first breakfast in bed, and I loved it!

And these two cuties were so proud of themselves! 

It was the best start to a day I was dreading. 

I told josh not to get me anything for Mother's Day. There wasn't anything I needed or wanted, and I didn't want to waste money on something I didn't need. But being the great husband he is, he came up with the perfect gift anyway. I had been wanting to get a picture of Mom and I to put on the wall with a sign that a friend made for me, but hadn't done it yet. Josh did perfect. 

And he took the hand picture from my phone and put it in this frame. 

Yes- I cried. How did I get so lucky to get a man that would do such thoughtful and meaningful things?? He's a keeper for sure. 

Our church was doing Mother's Day portraits, and after the service we got ours made. I was pleasantly surprised at how it turned out! 

I figured the line would be long, so I didn't really plan for us to do pictures, but I'm glad it worked out! 

After church we headed over to Aunt Kim's for lunch. Despite the pouring rain, we had a great time! 

Table #1

Table #2

And Kyson took my phone and snapped my picture because he said I needed to be in one. Yet- looking back, I don't see HIM in a single picture! 

These girls sure do love their Aunt Kim! But I think the feeling is mutual. 

We ended up leaving right after lunch because the rain was so heavy, we wanted to get home and check the creek by our house. 

Dad ended up coming over, and I let the guys beat me at a game of Hand and Foot Canasta. 

Sometimes you just gotta let them win so that they don't get frustrated and quit playing. So I took one for the team this time. 

While we were playing cards, I looked over and the girls were playing Littlest Pet Shop and Polly Pocket. 

What cracks me up about this is that Macie got a TON of new toys at her birthday party the day before. Yet, they dug out their old favorites and were content in the living room. Love it! 

That evening, we went and got dinner and took it to Pops and Memaw's to eat. 

It was nice to spend some time with everyone that day. It sure helped.
When Josh asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's day, I told him I wasn't sure. He said we could go somewhere for the day, or just stay home in our pajamas all day. I told him the LAST thing I wanted to do was to stay home all day and do nothing. That's when my emotions creep up on me and I get very emotional. Down time is not my friend when I am feeling sad. It tends to magnify my feelings times ten. So I told him I wanted to be busy that day. I wanted to be with Dad all day. Dad is my safe place. I guess it's a normal thing, but now that Mom is gone, I am finding myself needing my Daddy so much more. He and I have always been close, but without my Mama- I just NEED my Daddy. He and I have said many times that we can't do this alone- but we will do this together. And that we will!
I couldn't have made it through the day without the wonderful support from texts, fb messages, and thoughtful friends who did great things like bring me flowers. I have always known that I had wonderful friends, but wow. In my darkest times- wonderful people just come out of everywhere! I am so blessed. And no amount of sorrow can keep me from realizing that! My friends are the best!!
SO- Mother's day 2015 is in the books. The first one behind me. And I made it. I'm not going to say it was always pretty- but I made it! There were times when I wasn't sure I could make it through the next 5 minutes when the sorrow was so heavy. But here I am- almost 3 months later, and I am still making it. And ya know what? I will continue to make it. Because that's what my Mama would have wanted! She raised me to keep on keeping on, no matter what. And I pray that I can instill that value in my children. No matter what life throws at you, you get up, put a smile on, and keep on going. It's a way of life. It was HER way of life. I am so thankful that she taught me so many wonderful things. 35 years with her wasn't nearly enough, but I am certain that 135 wouldn't have been enough. I am thankful that I had the time I did, and thankful for the memories that I am left with. Mostly, I am thankful that she was MINE.