The other night Brenna Grace drew this picture
So many days I walk around like a ticking time bomb. Mom is heavy on my heart and I miss her so very much. I really feel like I should be past the point of having such touch and go days by now, but the reality is that I am not. However, I try to keep those days to myself. I know what the hurt feels like and I know how much I miss her, but I know how to just go on about my day and try to push those thoughts to the back burner.
I know that the girls miss their MeMawMom too. But with 8 and 5 year olds, how do you really tell? They talk about her, we all do. Her name is mentioned daily, and sometimes they just go on about their business after something is said. Other days, they tell me how much they miss her. Brenna more so than Macie. Macie usually just follows her sister's lead. Brenna will tell me sometimes much she wishes MeMawMom was still here. I do my absolute BEST to be strong for her in those moments. Sometimes that is more than I can do and I just join her in tears. Some days those cries are good for both of us.
But I think that there are even more times that the girls miss her that they don't even say. They know things are different. But expressing your feelings at 5 and 8 is hard. Heck- it's hard at 36! So this random picture means more to me than just a sweet picture of our Angel. It shows me that MeMawMom is still always on her mind, just like she is always on mine. And I hope that never changes.
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